Things I Hate

I've stolen yet another idea from Meredith. What can I say? I'm a thief -- but an honest one.

I Hate:

1. Menstrual Cramps. They're not so bad lately, but before my kids were born, before I had a laparoscopy to diagnosis endometriosis and remove some adhesions, my period was the worst. If I didn't take way more Aleve than the directions on the bottle said, I could not function. Now, I make it through most months without so much as one Motrin, but when the cramps are just bad enough to remind me what it used to feel like, boy oh boy, do I hate them.

2. The Feeling of Being "Dismissed," when the person with whom I am speaking ignores me or brushes me off. This used to happen especially with a very macho male boss I had, but it happens from time to time in other situations. I would wait fifteen minutes to speak to him about something important, and then when it was my turn, he didn't seem to notice I was there. He would half listen to me until another male, or occasionally a very attractive female, happened by, at which point I would be "dismissed" with a casual turn of the head. Nothing pisses me off more.

3. Putting Away Clean Laundry. I don't mind carrying it downstairs to wash it. I don't mind sorting it. I don't mind washing it or drying it or even folding it. I don't mind carrying it back upstairs. But I HATE putting it away.

4. Spiders. (shudder)

5. Centipedes. (double shudder) They're faster than spiders, and more of a surprise. Ick, ick, ick. We used to get them in our basement every now and again at our old house. Fortunately, the house we live in now seems to be centipede-free.

6. Oversimplified/Partisan/Either-Or Politics. I am overwhelmed by the complexity of many tough political issues. When the issue is too big, it's easy to point fingers. I understand why the blame game happens, but I still think it's a cop-out when people say, "It's the Republicans' fault," or, "It's the Democrats' fault." Getting to the heart of the issue, and finding real solutions, on the other hand, is much more complicated.

7. Diet Plans Aimed at Children and Adolescents. I dislike most diet plans, and the entire misguided War on Fat. But when children are encouraged to lose weight (rather than choose a variety of nutritious foods and find some fun ways to be active), I nearly blow my top.

8. Children's Books That Try Too Hard to Rhyme. Look, it doesn't have to rhyme to be a good children's book. Leave the rhyming to Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein already. Prose can be rhythmic and beautiful. And maybe, just maybe, if these authors quit trying to rhyme, their books might start to develop something like, oh , I don't know, plot.

9. Meat That Looks Like the Animal It Came From. I really should be a vegetarian. It would be much less hypocritical of me. I don't have it in me, under non-starvation conditions anyway, to kill a creature for food. Even a fish. If I see where it comes from, I don't want to eat it. Chicken with skin-bumps where feathers used to be? No thanks. Meat that's still on the bone? Gee, I already ate. Steak that runs bloody pink? Thanks, but -- (upchuck noises). Yes, I grew up on a farm. Yes, I occasionally ate a cow I had seen in the field or a chicken whose clucking had helped me develop my fabulous chicken imitation. The thought of it sickens me. Now I prefer to have no prior knowledge of my entree. Really, I prefer meatless things, and yet, I remain a half-hearted carnivore. I feel guilty. But yeah, I let someone else do the wet work, and definitely, I'll take the anonymous chicken.

10. Wallpaper. No, I don't mean I hate to see wallpaper in other people's houses. It looks really nice sometimes. I just hate wallpaper at the moment because I've had to remove so much ugly and old wallpaper from this house that I can't look at it without wanting to peel a little off to see if it's the kind that comes right off or the kind I'll have to fight for hours with a spatula and a bottle of Downy water. I have wallpaper left in the bathroom and kitchen, still, and I hate the thought of having to remove it.