From the Junk Drawer, Volume 2

I've had company for the past three days and haven't had time to post. Especially since my house guest was unaware of my blog. (Sh!) One of these days I'll post something brilliant (cough) and coherent (cough cough) again, but for today, well, it's just this:

• I discovered a toad while I was mowing the yard. I ran as fast as I could to get the kids. Showing them critters is a big thing with me. Our old house had almost no yard and very few critters, so each turtle, ladybug, spider, caterpillar, robin, and squirrel is special. To me. "Look!" I said. "A toad! You've never seen a toad before, have you?" "Toad!" said my daughter. "That's right, baby sister, it's a toad," my son said sweetly before turning back to me and asking, "Can I go ride my motorcycle now?"

• I got new glasses. What, you say I look lovely, that the color of the frames brings out the natural highlights in my hair, that the shape of the lenses compliments the curve of my cheekbones? Oh, thank you for noticing. It's slightly pitiful when you get new glasses and realize that almost no one is going to see them. At least my daughter noticed. And keeps noticing. "New glasses!" she says, grinning and smudging them with her little pointer finger every time she looks at me. She's my sunshine, and I love every smudge she makes.

• The kids had their check-ups today. My son was sweet and cooperative. My daughter threw the mother of all fits when the nurses tried to weigh and measure her. The doctor eventually popped his head in and said, "Do you need a stun gun?" She's feisty, that daughter of mine. Wonder where she gets it?

• The basement leak problem has prompted me to spend much time on Gorilla Ladders inspecting gutters, and still more time on my knees peering into drains. Caulk is the answer, I believe. So I bought some. I felt powerful, tough, yet strangely feminine as I walked to the caulking section of Home Depot and read the labels, choosing two separate containers of caulk for two separate jobs. Do you know there is cement caulking, and also caulking for gutters? Oh, and there are more kinds, too, but I don't remember them. I was feeling proud and particularly sensual as I drove home dreaming of doing some down and dirty caulking. The euphoria might have lasted longer had I read the labels thoroughly enough to realize the application of caulk requires a caulking gun. Oh. I thought you just popped the cap and squeezed. You know, like Balmex.