What Do You Mean They Don't Make Elmo Shoes With a Reinforced Steel Toe?

Just look at these suckers!

Oh, I can hear it now: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Your poor child needs new shoes. You let him go out in those things? There are holes in the toes! His feet will get wet! What kind of a mother are you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But do you know these shoes are only two months old? That’s right. Two months.

Then explain the holes in the toes! Does your son walk on his tip-toes? And if so, why haven’t you gotten that checked out?

Oh, dear reader, when I saw the holes in the shoes, I was baffled myself at first. But then it dawned on me. He is not a tippy-toe walker, but a stunt man. He uses the toes of his shoes as brakes when he flies down our sloped driveway on his “motorcycle,” a modern version of the Big Wheel.

Everyone who visits nearly has a heart attack when they see him fly down that hill. They gasp and clutch their chests and then sigh in relief when my son stops just short of the brick wall or the garage door. I used to do the gasp/clutch thing myself. But he’s actually quite good at stopping himself.

I’ll just have to remember not to let him ride his motorcycle in his new Bob the Builder sandals.